How do you know if you're too old and ready to settle down? When the company of many reduces to the companionship of one. When you had all the energy of the world, during those days of hanging out with friends and laugh all night, only now you feel drain and want peace and quiet. When you were friendly and homely until you became a bitter old man. Honestly, I am not like I was before, staying up till 4am with buddies over beer, enjoying a large crowd of familiar faces....Oh, the worst is when it affects your ministry... I am definitely not the same person 7 years ago when I was goofy and playful. Now it's like being the "dad" of the group...and it's draining... It's not like I don't take joy with my friends, but I just don't have the energy for it. I have other things to handle and consider. Finances for starters. Working to have enough in my pocket to survive the next day, especially when my job now isn't making the amount needed for essential things. There is definitely sacrifices that I need to make. Tricky part is where to make the cut.
Tonight was dinner with the Tangs. Cool to hang out with friends from Singapore. Had dinner at Outback near Serramonte. Food was...err...okay. My steak was juicy, but there was a lot of fat and silver skin that made it difficult to eat. Everything else was good. Struggled to take the check, which some times I wish there wasn't a tradition for bill fighting. I know it's a kind gesture, but that's taking the honor of me paying for someone's meal away, especially when I haven't done it myself.
Okay, I'm really tired now and I still have to shower. I'll...talk about tomorrow when tomorrow is over.
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