Day 122 of 365: Home-made pazookies

What an awkward Sunday service! Musically, of course! For one, Mike wasn't feeling too good, so no drummer. Just bass, piano and guitar. We added a tambourine and a shaker last minute, but it was only for certain songs. The next awkward thing was in Mandarin when the guitar was off-tuned and it was just the piano holding the songs together. One song was heavily reliant on the guitar and the piano just stopped playing because of the different key. I tried to match the key so it wouldn't be too strange. Oh man, I felt bad...but what can we do? We didn't have time to practice prior to the service.

I met up with Ben and Dexter for our monthly meeting for TNT and planned out the next couple of weeks. Had lunch at the Dragon River. Typical Chinese...what else can I say?

Went home after to ready up for Kristy's departure back to LA. Can't really say that it's sad because I always think that Kristy is a lot more easier to get to than Mom and Dad. Everything went smoothly for Kristy, so thank God for that!

Amos, Mei and I met up with Victor, Matt, Vincent, Jenny, Lisa and Sarah for a late afternoon showing of 'Avatar' in 3D. I was excited until I realized that I had to sit in the second row. It was tough, but for some reason, the 3D effects were better. Annie couldn't come because of a hair stylist appointment...

We did meet up after the movie for dinner. Tried to get a table at BJ's, but there was a 2 hour wait for a party of 9. Sarah had dinner plans or else it would have been a party of 10. Anyway, we opt for Senoire's pizza, hot wings, potato skins and home-made pazookies. Essentially, it's our own BJ's experience minus the wait. It was good time of fellowship, but we didn't stay long. I was getting tired...

Day 121 of 365: Heavily jet-lagged

Finally went paintballing today! After BSF, I came home to pack up my gear and rushed to do a swap of parts for my Tippmann 98. Made my way to Felix's as soon as I can and headed up toward Vallejo. I'm glad that God was with us the whole time and got us there safe. The cool part was that the guns worked, for the most part. The 98 worked perfectly, like clockwork! My A-5 didn't fare as well. It worked half the time while Jeremy Wong's A-5 barely work at all. I'll need to break those down and see what I can do. Argh... A kingdom for a functional marker!

I had quite a good chat with Felix. Lots of guy stuff, but that's expected. Video games, computers, tactical information, cars, pretty much covered a lot. And we talk a little about this guy that happened to be campaigning against certain groups of people under the name of God. I think it's crazy. Felix said that it was too concentrated on hate against people.

Anyway, came home and showered. I was ready to have dinner with Annie at Chouchou (pronounced Shoo-shoo), a French bistro that I always wanted to try. I drive by it every Tuesday and Saturday and I find it sad that I never made it a point to try it. Thank you, Annie!

Okay, I'm starting to get tired... Almost feels like I'm heavily jet-lagged... Oh, but it was a good day! In addition to the paintball part, I got one guy out! And he didn't even know I was there! Awesome feeling... Now I still need to get those markers to work properly...

Day 120 of 365: Whatever time

Friday lesson with Jr High and High School. I was definitely nervous because it's a different environment. Slightly different crowd with different levels of maturity. Everything was on God to lead and I had to mind my breathing. The overall lesson was long, with Elder George's portion and mine, but I thought God pulled us through. It was refreshing to teach again, but I always have to remind myself to not always repeat certain points too much. My hope is always for God to lead and open their hearts. What came out of my mouth is all in God's hands now.

Well, I'm going to go paintballing tomorrow. After BSF, of course, but those markers better work! Pray that they do. I cleaned each one of them thoroughly and if they don't work, I'll be at a lost. I hope I don't have to waste my time tomorrow, but I'll do test runs with whatever time I have before the lunch hour and make the best of what time is left after lunch. God, let them work...

Day 119 of 365: Old self

Okay...I couldn't finish the lesson before bed time last night...I did what I could and left the rest to do at work, which was much more productive. Now the thing I worry about is whether this slide show will come up on the computer at church. Well, either way, it's all up to God.

Annie was telling me how the premarital material was difficult. Made sense if it was since it's meant to cover every known topic about ourselves. I guess for some questions, we have to face the ugliness of ourselves. Parts of our old self that doesn't not belong to us. Thank God for the cross! Now that has to be a life story of some sort! I wonder how I would answer my questions...

Worship practice with the Mandarin was long, but this time around, it's with the Mandarin youth. Previously, the team consist of middle-aged musicians and singers. It's refreshing to play with fellow brothers and sisters with nearly the same style of music. I have to say, this group is definitely more efficient and productive. Green in some areas, but who isn't? I'm still learning.

After that, I drove over to Berkeley to pick Kristy and Christal up. They just saw a Christian rock group called 'Tim Be Told' and they were raving about it until they started to doze off in the car. Kristy popped the CD in and they're actually not that bad. You wouldn't think they are a Christian band until you really listen to the lyrics. They have a Blues/Gospel flavor that I appreciate. Time to rip the CD into my iTunes!

I don't like the socks I'm wearing now... Always makes my feet smell bad...

Day 118 of 365: Friday lessons

There is not enough time in the day to do everything. Not even enough time to compute everything all at once. Time used to feel plentiful... Now, it feels like an hour is one hour too short. Think that it's enough? More like enough to go to the bathroom and half the time is gone. It's sad...

I have this Friday's lesson to finish by tonight, Saturday's BSF homework to finish, and Sunday's premarital papers to finish. It's not like I'm complaining about the workload. In fact, I don't mind it at all since it's almost a year since I was done with school. The thing is, Friday lessons are something I enjoy doing. It shouldn't be stressful other than the lazy part.

I'll keep this short. I need to finish stuff. Phew...

Day 117 of 365: Praise Him

The clinic had a H1N1 vaccination event today and there was a lot less people than expect. I guess the "swine" flu scare is over. Especially when places like Walgreens have it. Good for the people. I still feel like it's not that big of a deal.

Anyway, I came home feeling weary, but refreshed from the comforts of home. Made some dumplings for dinner before I had to head out for BSF. I really took my time to get things going. Almost feel like BSF is starting to be too routine. Oh, then I had to think about this Friday's lesson. It's slowly getting more organized after isolating the main idea and splitting it into 3 points that I want to narrow down to. I have 20 minutes, so I'll invest 5 minutes into each point and about 2.5 minutes for the introduction and conclusion. Short and powerful...that's where I aim my lesson at. I pray that God will move to speak through me...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him for all things cold. Praise Him above all while everything goes. Praise Him for He listens and brings us calm.

Day 116 of 365: Con Air

Took the day off to help Kristy with the driver license test. Didn't wake up too early, but I thought it was enough for the moment. Felt stuffy and weak in the morning though. Thought I was going to be sick, but I managed for the entire day. Anyway, DMV was a nightmare... Mainly because there was a lot of people there and it was warm and the air was tight. I had to take a step outside to get a breather. Good thing was that Kristy passed her written. Bad thing: Behind the wheel has to be done at the different time. Hopefully, Kristy will be able to find a time for it.

We went home after and waited for Amos to get back for lunch. We drove out to Stack's and god gave a parking spot with 42 minutes left on the meter. Praise God! Lunch itself was simple. Well, it was lunch with breakfast food. Still good though.

Target next! Kristy had to return a pair of boots and I wanted to get a hand-cranked flashlight/radio/cellphone charger for my Camry. Just in case of emergencies.

We came home and I rested a little; drinking lots of water. At some point, I was clearing my desk of old junk, doing some homework for premarital and cleaning one of my paintball markers. Amos and Kristy went over to Vincent's for dinner, but I stayed behind to clear out some stuff like old food in the fridge. Made a dumpling dinner and watched 'Con Air'. I think I understood what Eric meant when he said that Nicholas Cage isn't all that great. Well, last movie on those movie channels before downgrading. Hopefully I'll get that, plus other small and big things, done.

Day 115 of 365: Photo shooting

Pastor Steve Korch came back to start a 3 part series on, I guess, the essentials of a Christian's life. Prayer was the topic for this morning's message and I liked it a lot. He used an analogy of a Mohawk Recon Army plane from the Vietnam war as a parallel of us and how we communicate to the power, which in the case of the Mohawk, it's the F-4 Phantoms. The Phantoms represented the power and might of God as He answers the pray. Pretty cool picture that I can relate to. Of course, the girls probably don't get it...

After service, I wanted to get a slight trim for the photo shoot session that Annie and I planned on. Conan, one of the more interesting High School students, came to me and asked me if I could give him a ride to the upper Richmond. Of course I said 'yes'. Hmmm...side note: Pastor Korch mentioned a moment like this as a "one right answer" moment. One of those moments where 'yes' is the only answer for a Christian. Anyway, I planned on walking to the barber's without sacrificing my parking spot, which was around the corner of the church. Instead, I sacrificed my time and spot to drive Conan. Like I said, he's one interesting character.

Finding parking again wasted some time, but I managed to get one a few blocks away from church and the barber's. Walked to and from for the most part. Got my haircut, went to Buffalo's for a fish burger, then walked back to the van because I forgot something, got lunch and walked back to church. Didn't get the chance to eat the moment I got back. Had to start the photo shooting. Did what could be done at the church and then we decided to go outside for outdoor shots. That's where I ate!

The photo shoot wasn't too bad. I wasn't too bored or too tired. So that a good sign. That means the actual shoot with the wedding photographer won't be too bad either.

Annie and I went to Target after. I was trying to look for this crank powered flashlight/radio/cellphone charger for myself and my boss. I plan on putting one in my Camry, just in case. My boss just thought it was cool and useful. Oh, and I found a couple of cool stuff! One was a sign (there's another proper word to describe it, but I can't think about the spelling) that speaks about family. You should check it out! The other is a childish impulse...a double-barreled dart gun that resembles a double-barreled shotgun. It even has an ejecting action! Crazy cool! We went to Gamestop and Michael's, separated for that moment. Picked up a game that I've been hunting for quite some time: Ace Combat 6. Airplanes and flying. Annie picked up fake flower petals. There was a bunch of cool wedding stuff like this pair of decision dice. I thought it was creatively practical. Hmmm...give me an idea... Decision dice for where to pick for dinner... Haha! Names of restaurants in a box and drawn out to make a number list from 2 to 12. Whatever number is rolled, that's the restaurant to go to. What do you think?

I came home after that and chilled. Slowly got tired, but tried the game anyway. Ate dinner and played a little more until I realized that time flew by. 'Sigh'....

Day 114 of 365: Honeymoon Planning

So tired... I'm starting to think that if I have to take a nap, I must be dead tired... And I did take a nap, like around 4pm?

Waking up for BSF this morning was somewhat a struggle, but I have to get up and going. It's bad enough that I feel like I'm forcing myself to go. It just doesn't feel the same. Or maybe because I can't commit my full attention to it or that I really don't have much to do in my position. Either way, respite is needed...one way or another. Of course, that's in God's hands. I just hope that God will accomplish His purpose with what I have.

After that, it's Duncan for a while. Couple major things needed attention, but I did what I could with whatever I had at the time. Need more time invested in detailing the smaller things. I'm probably going to visit that again this week.

Headed home for a short while before it's time for practice at 11am. I was doing okay until I realized how tired I was at that time. I was starting to miss my notes, but it was up until I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes while playing that I just let go and let God play. Pretty cool when that happens. It's like playing the acoustic guitar, but with the bass. Kinda hard to explain...

I went home with Annie to have lunch and we chilled for the most part. Installed Annie's new headlights and actually ran into my old neighbor that lived a couple houses down. Said that the owner after him was arrested by the FBI or something. Pretty crazy, but I wasn't aware of that. Eh... Anyway, we practiced posing for the "Save the Date" picture that we'll be taking tomorrow. Then...

Nap...

Dropped by Stonestown for a short while before we decided to have In-N-Out for dinner. We planned on meeting up with Stefanie and Johnny to talk about their trip to Australia. We had such a good chat about their experience and checked out pictures that they took. Can't believed that it took 2.5 hours on it, but it was productive. I know in what direction I can go with the honeymoon planning process.

Tired....

Day 113 of 365: Getting old

Tonight begins the dating series for Jr. High and High school fellowships. I was partially nervous and excited about it. Nervous because of how delicate this subject is and how each leader is accountable to the series, but at the same time excited because it's the one topic I, strangely, feel excited about. Some of the Jr. High kids were talking a lot during the message given by the guest speaker, but it's kinda expected. Next week, I'll be taking a portion of the topic on friends and I plan to do a visual learning type of lesson since I have access to Powerpoint slides. Hopefully, I'll be able to get the point across.

I think I'm slowly going into a phase in life where I know I'm getting old, yet see through the wisdom that many adults were in years before during my days of youth. Some of the fun parts of life seem to be reduced to seriousness. Can't say it's a bad thing. Only if I'm really stressed out and then that's where I don't quite like it.

Anyway, I have a lot to do before sleeping. Got to wake up early tomorrow...

Day 112 of 365: Certain presence

This blog is starting to have this apocalyptic feel to it. Just like Will Smith's 'I am Legend'. Well, video blog for me would be like watching a TV show about bloopers. Well, it's Day 112. I've been engaged for more than that, but that's important is what happens within a year of my wedding. So far...not much because I'm selective with what I write and I'm usually tired...

I felt like I'm getting more careful with certain patients. Some don't seem to have considerate their surroundings. Not aware of the effects of their selfish, or ignorant, acts. 'Sigh'...the world, as we know it, will slowly crumb as we think more highly of ourselves. Soon, it'll literally be dog-eat-dog...or man-eat-man... Hmmm...zombie apocalypse?

Oh, today was Mom's departure from San Francisco. I feel a sense of loss, but not the type that I don't know what to do, but more like a sense of losing a certain presence in the house. The house just feels...quieter. No random laughing of Dad watch America's Funniest Videos (or dumbest to Dad). No sound of oil cracking in the background and smell of good food. Maybe it's just me missing the days of my earlier youth. Days in Petaluma... Or maybe I understand what Dad meant that home is where family is. Now, family is in two locations, soon to be three. Then four...when the wedding is over. I know that Dad is not ready for this part of life because he didn't get to spend the latter part of Kristy's High School years. I also know that he regrets not being there for our important moments, which is probably why I have no motivation to walk the graduation ceremony for SF State... Actually, I much rather have him come when I get my PhD. That's something he can't miss.

Okay...I'm getting tired thinking about too much...Need to wake up and get to work on my own...

Day 111 of 365: Winter trip

This rain is good for me...when in bed and without worries... I had to wake up for work, so I couldn't enjoy sleeping in the rain. Hopefully I'll get the pleasure of doing that next time. Sure love the sound of the rain beating the windows. Had a certain type of music to it.

I had lunch with Mom again. Practically the last lunch to conclude her winter trip to San Francisco and I want to make the best of what I have. Amos and Kristy came along too, which is good. We really need to appreciate the time with them and treasure each moment. Seems like this is the results of seeing people close to you pass away. Sad, but it helps me wake up to reality and really cherish each moment.

Mom made one of my favorite dishes tonight: Mu-Oi Choy Kao Yuok. I love that since I was a kid. I could eat just that over rice and I'll be content for a while. It'll be my lunch and possibly my dinner for the next couple of days. Oh, that wasn't for dinner, it's Chicken Jook. Equally good and I just finished another bowl of it! For some reason, it was done perfectly! Mom said it was because of the whole chicken that she used for the jook. Ha! That's a lot of flavor!

Oh, have I mentioned that I love my parents?

Day 110 of 365: French Toast

Today was a so-so day at work. Busy on the phones with several tasks to work on throughout the week. I had lunch with Amos and Mom, so that was a good change of pace. With all the rain coming down like Seattle, I hardly got time to walk during my breaks. Well, I made one trip to get something warm for myself.

Man, today didn't feel like much. Came home, had dinner and went to BSF. I was thankful, at least, to have God hold the rain while I was walking to and from the church. That was awesome! BSF itself was...like any other methodical night. Everything as it was... Missing a couple of leaders, but we managed. Oh, it was nice of one of the leaders to bring 'French Toast Muffins'. Yes, you saw that right, 'French Toast'! Good, but not very French Toastish...

Eric texted me about what I had planned out for my birthday. I told him that I didn't have much, so he wanted to take me out for a simple dinner with Kevin. I'm going to ask Annie if she could make it if she hasn't read this already.

Day 109 of 365: Family

I drove Dad to the airport today. Feeling a little sad that he had to fly back, but it's necessary. Can't have him here all the time...but at least we had a great time with family. Especially like the time I spent with them at Half Moon Bay. It was fun to have lunch with them and buying crab off the boat. Very memorable.

I went to get breakfast with Mom at Denny's on Geary. Oh, and this is the Chinese Denny's. Had the Chong Fun there, which my parents and I love a lot. Thank God too that we managed to find parking because it was pouring out there. It was more like a storm and it was said that it'll carry on throughout the week. It's going to be an interesting week...

After a simple breakfast, I dropped Mom off at the hairdresser's so she could get her hair colored at the roots. Came home after to prepare jook for lunch and played a little bit of Modern Warfare, which I haven't touch in a few days. I met up with one of my groomsmen, Kevin, on Xbox Live, so I played with him for a while until I have to pick Mom up. After that, it was a couple more rounds before lunch.

Most of the afternoon was just me being lazy... Not productive at all...Mom and Kristy went out to Target to do some shopping and I played Mod War with Mike for a bit before I handed the controller over to Amos. By then, Vincent and Lisa came over to figure out what to do with the wet day. Sucks that we didn't do anything... Well, I let Lisa bake cookies...

Mom and Kristy came back with food for hot pot and that's what we did. Vincent and Lisa had other plans of their own, so it was just family. Didn't eat as much as I thought I would...

Oh, Amos' Accord was finally fixed! The price to fix it was quite a big number for me, but for the sake of safety, it must be done.

Had a good chat with Annie tonight. Took some comfort in knowing that God will always have someone for me to keep me company. Praise God it is Annie...and Annie is starting to know me all too well. Or maybe I'm just too predictable...

Day 108 of 365: Busy weekends

I was a little bothered this morning at how late we were to worship practice prior to the service. We didn't start until 20 minutes after 8am. Didn't like that at all, but I prayed that I'll be calm about it and focus on God. The sermon waa suppose to be given by Pastor Steve Korch, but he had an emergency to attend to so his colleague, Dr. Gary Tuck, took his place. I can detect a different style of preaching straight away. It was good, but not very story driven. Got the point across at least.

My family was planning on going to Petaluma, but it was cancelled on account of rain. So we went to have lunch at the Shang Hai dumpling restaurant in Millbrae. Hot dumplings fit for the cold weather. After that we went to watch Avatar...finally! It was an awesome movie! I don't care what the critics say, it's not racist or whatever, it has a strong message and that's what movies do, entertain and enlight.

The movie didn't end until 5:40pm and we had to rush to Costco to get stuff for a steak dinner. Almost didn't make it! And I went to Pacific Super to get groceries for Cream of Mushroom soup to add on to the dinner. It was a good family dinner, but I am completely beefed-out for now, if not, for a while.

I dropped by Annie's for a while just to make up for the time we didn't get before. Busy weekends...

Day 107 of 365: Crab Landing

So I did something that I haven't done in a while (at least I think so), which is to spend some quality time with my parents. We went to Half Moon Bay after I was done with BSF in the morning. Kinda tired, but I know I'll be fine when I head out for fresh air. The drive didn't take long, but we weren't exactly sure of where the Half Moon Bay fishing pier was. My dad took a guess and I point the van at that direction. Thank God we found it! Cool part was that this was the same place that I went several years back during my first time in America. My family joined a bunch of friends to this exact spot to pick out fresh salmon off the boat. Oh memories...

We tried this restaurant for lunch called Crab Landing. Pretty upscale, but casual at the same time. They had some common items like burgers and sandwiches, but with a twist of class like adding crab or some sort of fresh seafood. We ordered a lot! What we ordered? Ask me in person! Or take the leftovers and try!

This was good time spent with my parents and I think they enjoyed it too. Oh, we walked the pier and found several boats selling crab that were caught earlier in the morning. Pretty cool to see fishermen at work. We bought two live crabs from this father and son crew. The son looked like he was a teen, so I can respect the time he put into this.

We went to do some errands with Kristy after. Trips to Target and Home Depot. On our way back, I dropped by Kragen's to pick up Silverstar's for Annie's Civic. If the color is good, as in white, I might just get a pair for the Camry.

We came home around 4pm and I was pooped. I took my contact lens out and decided to take a nap after trying to work on the dating series outline. The nap started at 5pm and I didn't wake up until 7pm. That where Annie called to say she was downstairs. Annie surprised me with make-up on her face, something she got from being a model for some make-up salon? Make-up changes the way you look and I'm thankful that Annie has natural beauty, so she doesn't have to work hard to look great.

Well, I'm still tired... I'll try to sleep well tonight. The rest is up to God.

Day 106 of 365: Praise night

I've never woke up for work this early in the morning before, but I managed to do so with ease. The only part I wasn't too happy with was how that one thing that I needed to do was already done and my early trip to work wasn't necessary. That meant I could have got myself another half an hour of sleep. Not much, but I'll take it. Anyway, work today felt tight. Squeezed a lot of time into doing some reports and some other IT stuff that others can't do well. Argh...work...

Well, the main highlight was the Praise night. I say it went well, but that's just my opinion. My right index finger hurts from plucking my bass strings, so they might just be bruised. I was surprised at the maturity of the Junior High kids. They weren't their usual disruptive self, but rather they were respectful of others. I can respect that and I thank God for it.

Oh, Annie scared me today when she said that her ring was missing. Thank God she found it! I was about to replace it... *smirk

Day 105 of 365: Butt early

I got strangely dizzy at work today. Could be that I didn't drink enough water. Need to catch up on that somehow. And while I was feeling dizzy, I was not able to think at my normal capacity. A tad slower, but I force myself to do things efficiently. Thank God the day is over.

I had lunch with Annie today, which was very much welcomed and needed. I managed to hang out with her last Thursday and this was a way to make up for the time I have for worship practice. We went to Cafe Bakery, one of our favorite places to go to. It was interesting to know that both of us thought about the exact same place to have lunch. How crazy was that!

Upon my return home, I relaxed and wind down for the most part. I didn't want to think too much after a tiredsome day. Had a light dinner and went to practice. Long practice as usual. Mostly on the part of music. Some times some people can't hit that one note or get thr right tempo. Well, I'm not better.

Alrightie then...I have to wake up butt early to finish a report due at 9am. I have about an hour to finish it and I'll be cranky tomorrow. Pray for me...

Day 104 of 365: Emergency kits

Okay, just kidding about going to Walnut Creek... I guess things didn't work out as they should. So the family slept in until lunch time where we went to the Asian Pearl for dim sum. Not bad for some items, but for others, not too great. I guess our previous experience left us with too high of an expectation.

We went to Target after to get survi...I mean, emergency kits. Or rather, we are building one just in case of a disaster like an earthquake, tsunami, or a viral outbreak that turns stressed out people into zombies. We got hand sanitizers, first aid kits, hand-cranking radio, which has a built-in flashlight and cell phone charger. How cool is that! Now we need butane canisters, bottled water and various small items. I thought this was cool, to build an emergency kit. Almost like camping! But the keyword is 'almost'. This isn't camping. It's real and I pray that we don't have to use it.

After Target, we went to visit Pastor Cheng's grave. If it wasn't for this pastor's help, my family won't be in America enjoying all its comforts. I won't be able to experience natural cold, cycling with tons of space, driving, paintball, and most importantly, Meeting Annie. In a way, it's only respectful to visit this pastor.

We drove to Ranch 99 to get groceries and not long after, we were home. Well, except for me. I had to head out to do stuff like picking up rent and getting materials to build a cross for this Friday. I have to say I was nervous about it. About whether it could be done with only the tools that I have at home, which is one blunt saw and lots of hammers. I started hacking away immediately, hoping to get something done tonight. Thankfully, I was able to cut the 2x4 into decent sizes and nailed the two pieces together. The unfortunate part was that I could only get one nail in because it was getting dark and I didn't want to make too much noise for the neighbors. The work will be finish. Just a matter of time.

After a simple jook dinner, it was worship practice. Simple set for this Sunday. Mostly meditative pieces.

Day 103 of 365: Singaporean restaurant

This week felt like a drag. I mean, I appreciate the work, but somehow, it feels...dry. I find myself being hard on some patients and nice to others, but shouldn't that be universal? I need some time to be alone with God and not have anything around me except my bible and perhaps, BSF homework.

Speaking of which, BSF was managable despite the fact that a couple leaders couldn't make it and volunteers have to fill in the difficult positions. Thank God for working things out. And thank God for keeping me dry all night! For holding the rain until I got home. I knew he could do that!

Anyway, tomorrow will be spent with family. We're going to Walnut Creek for some reason. Something to do with Kristy meeting a friend. I was hoping to check out a Singaporean restaurant there, but I couldn't find it. I guess we'll take whatever is there.

Okay, I'll be sleeping now...

Day 102 of 365: True Christians

I'm a little disappointed at myself for not doing something that I needed to do...and that is to make phone calls for BSF. I have to make it up some how tomorrow with calls to people that are free to answer... God help me...

On the upside, dinner was good tonight. Home-made meal with steamed egg, garlic-fried vegetables, fish and abalone. We even have cold crab, which we didn't get to. Just too full...

It's discouraging to see the world in its state. I feel like the United States aren't very united. My hopes is that it won't take another tragedy to wake everyone up to what this country is doing wrong. The fact that the States are so out of tune with God to the point where even the mention of God stirs emotions that will anger and rebel, not humble and convicted.

There's this one question that most Christians can't confidently answer back and that is "if God is a loving God, why will He allow for bad things to happen to good people?" Most Christians don't have an answer because they don't know what to say to it and don't understand it themselves. I can say the same for myself, but I might just be able to think of a couple reasons that are plausible.

1) We need to understand that God is not capable of evil. He allows for evil that are beyond our understanding at that moment, but only if we wait and be patient to see the purpose of it.

2) We don't know this well, but out of love, there is also discipline. We are a bunch of ignorant, sinful people that have a hard time letting go of our pride and listening to bad things. We want to hear and do things that are pleasurable, which most often is based on sin. What we don't like is what we need to hear: the sin and our wrongs. We are all prideful and sinful. We can't escape it. Our denial is truth of the matter.

3) Bad things happen so that God's people will answer the call of the need. Christians are called to do God's work. True Christians lay their lives down, sacrifice their time and resources, in order to meet the need another. Bad things happen so that the Christian can stand there and be the support that God wants to give to His people. We are the hands and feet of Christ and we are to be actively working in this world in order for people to see the love of God.

This world is falling apart. Morals are gone. There are no values. Only what people want to do and not what they need to do. The fellow citizen of this country doesn't care about his neighbor, but only what selfish satisfaction can give. It's sad. Man cares only for himself.

And I've fallen victim into that...

Day 101 of 365: Tomato crab

So the congregation today thought that worship was good. I say it's nothing if God isn't glorified in it. Praise God then if people are able to see God in a personal way. 'How great thou art' came out well and it was awesome playing that, despite the fact that I didn't hit many notes, but it was meant to be a combination of all the instruments. Balance!

I had lunch with Annie after. We went to get Vietnamese food on 6th and Clement. Simple little cafe with cheap food for take-out. I remember trying their spring rolls once and it was good! We got the tomato crab noodles. Not as flavorful as Americana, but it was still cheaper.

Ha! Annie and I went for a run today! I was just glad that we tried to complete Lake Merced, but perhaps next time, we'll cycle it. I can see cycling being more fun...

After running, we headed back home to shower and get ready for dinner with both families. Annie's mom couldn't make it of course, because she's out of town. Dinner was at the Asian Pearl on El Camino Real. Pretty amazing food there for Chinese, which really comes down to one thing: the skill of the chef. Regardless, it was quite a good meal! The dinner was mainly just a casual get-together. I say it was fun, mostly watching Amos and Kristy make a fool of themselves.

Day 100 of 365: Bridal fair

So I broke it to my Teaching Leader that I'm stepping down from ministry. He seem pretty understanding of my situation, primarily because of my upcoming wedding. He said to pray about this and reconsider, but my decision is leaning closely to stepping down for the time being. I don't know where God is leading in this, but I know that He'll use me in the way He sees best.

Worship practice for Praise night came after and it was a long practice! From 11am to 3pm, with an hour lunch for break. At least we were productive and I like how I figured out some bass licks that I was trying to understand from Earth, Wind and Fire. Maybe it's because of the number of times I've been listening to it...YAY! Finally...

After practice, I went to Duncan. Not as bad as I thought it might be, but I hope none of the residents started to clean it or something. That might suck...

I went back and drove to Macy's with my parents. There was a One-Day sale and didn't want to lose the opportunity. Got a couple of items that might be useful for the future.

Got home not too long after to shower and that's where Annie and the girls (Kristy, Katy and Sarah) came back from their trip to the bridal fair. They got a lot out of it and I like the information Annie got for the honeymoon trip. Definitely easier to isolate good deals, or recommended itineraries, for our trip.

Annie and I tried this HK dessert place for dinner on Clement. They served some baked rice, spaghetti, or riso plates, which aren't too bad. It's actually a better dessert place in general because they have so much more to offer.

Went to rent a movie (Night at the Museum 2) and enjoyed the time together. The movie was pretty good, but with Annie, it's the best! Haha!

Sorry if this post is rather...monotone...I'm tired....

Day 99 of 365: Blunt blade

I had dim sum with my parents, including Amos, during my lunch break. It was good to get out and have a meal with family. Kristy couldn't join because she was with friends, but it's okay. And work was...work...Busy day at least, so I wasn't sitting around doing nothing...

Honestly, BSF is feeling a little like dead weight... I might have lost the motivation to be in leadership, which is not a good attitude to bring to God. I did commit to one more year of service, but I need to rest. I feel like I went into leadership as a blunt blade...Not sharp enough to be effective. I'm going to break it to my Teaching Leader that I plan to step down after this study is over. At least I'll give him some time to look for someone to fill in.

The lesson for TNT tonight was...simple. This group is a lot less mature than previous groups, which makes me miss the older kids... It's definitely harder to keep them interested. Even worship is difficult for them.

Oh man...I don't feel rested after the holidays...

Day 98 of 365: Jimi-san

For some reason, I've been in too much thought. Too much negativity. I don't know where it might have started, but I think I know where to look at. Well, I shouldn't look into the past and play the pointing game, but perhaps work, or the world in general, have revealed the worst in me. Either way, lots of prayer is needed.

Pleasant surprise today after lunch! Annie was around the neighborhood and my boss was kind enough to let me hang out with her for a while. She was at the HSBC bank near my work and I was grateful to spend some time with her for that short while. I think we both need it. We later met up for dinner at Jimi-san. Almost went to that Singaporean/Malaysian restaurant on Clement, but I didn't because of my reservations on Singaporean food in American (the one cuisine they can't improve or nail).

Putting some logical thought into this, Annie and I are not meant to have periods of separation. Good or bad, you decide, but this is what we need. Don't like it? Well, pray then!

Day 97 of 365: Prayers begin

[This is Jeremy speaking his mind]

Am I heartless? Or did I harden my heart just to be strong enough to take on the world? To toughen up so that people won't step on me? What ever happened to the Jeremy that was fun-loving and compassionate, as some would describe me as such, and who is this person staring back at me in front of the mirror? Sometimes I think I'm too easily influenced. Even now, I ask God who I am... Am I Job, who goes through every possible suffering and still kept his faith? Am I Moses, who has to deal with faithless people and bears the burden of many? I know I'm neither one of them, though their lives can be an inspiration to mine.

Today felt like an emotional roller coaster. I don't know where all these emotions came from... Maybe I just need time to purge all my thoughts...

Having been praying much...

Devotions feeling dry, even though BSF is there to guide...

Discouraged by the world's intention for self-gain...

Worry about those around me...

Almost feel like I'm conditioned for self-helplessness...

Emotions are not my masters and they have no rational leader...

God, please take control...

Jesus, thy words comfort me...

It all comes down to this...Jesus is my brother, my Savior, counselor, wonderful, all powerful, all knowing, compassionate, loving, caring, the guide of my life, the light of my world, peace giver, faithful friend, strong tower, reveals my convictions, solid leader, my King, my captain, Shepard of His elected...

That's what I'm called to be. I live to serve Him. I live to be like Him. I do so because He did all the impossible in order for the impossible to be done in me. We all need Jesus to rule our lives. Without a guide, who is able to walk in a world of darkness.

I know lately, I've been cold... I know it because I have been cold to a lot of people. That includes people at work, church, family and yes, even my fiance, whom I love dearly. I am convince that I need to step up and not step aside from what I claim to believe in. That's the worst I could do to myself and to others. I also know that I've become more selfish, but I pray that it is not because I've been selfless for so long and I want to turn the tables so I can be selfish myself. I know I lack much in life and want more, but in this case, the lacking is of spiritual in nature. I know where I must go...into the company of my Lord...

[Thoughts end, prayers begin]

Day 96 of 365: Remember always

BSF started today for the second half of our study of John's Gospel. I have to say that tonight's turnout seem like the lowest we have ever seen. Had a couple students on the Children Program side drop out, which isn't encouraging, but what can we do? I say pray!

I have been thinking about Pat for the most part of the evening...I get this from time to time, thinking about the good times when we hung out with friends. Laughing away the night...eating and drinking...playing games...football... Pat's passing felt like it impacted a lot of lives, if not in an indirect way. Certainly feel like it change the way I see things. One such thing is the expectation of death. It will happen to everyone, we just don't know when. I think I was pretty banged up with Pat that I want to prepare myself to be able to take another person's death with the comfort of knowing where they are going. The truth is...I will never be fully prepared. I think about my parents, my siblings, Annie, friends... I'll never be fully ready to see them go because I have not fully shared my life with them. I do hope for my parents to live long to see their grandchildren. To have my siblings around to talk about days of old. To remember the dumb and cool days with my friends. Most importantly, I want to live life with my wife. The recent passing of a pastor that was significant to my family made me realize this.

Remember always...family is important.

Day 95 of 365: Too Americanized

Going to work after a four day weekend sucks! Well, it shouldn't because I haven't been working long. As a matter of fact, I should appreciate all the blessings I get from this job: brushing my Chinese up, get a decent paycheck, and make connections with people. Complain, I will not! Especially when my previous job sucked more... way more!

So a cool thing was having lunch with my family. Kristy couldn't make it for some reason, but it's cool. Next time maybe. We had Thai food and this time we tried something a little different from the usual fare of single plated food. I'll not bore you with details, so moving on!!

I wanted to get back into jogging and the whole getting back into the right shape deal... Almost did it if the weather wasn't that cold and if the sun didn't go down that fast. I was supposed to jog with Amos, but we'll schedule something this Wednesday. Prayerfully hope that we'll come through... I'm starting to feel too Americanized...

Day 94 of 365: Wedding stuff

I think playing for the Mandarin service might help improve much of my Chinese in general. How it might work out, it's entirely up to the Lord.

Overall, the service was good. Pastor Mike played a track from the Black Eyed Peas, which was cool. Can't remember the title for the song, but it goes, "Where is the love", in the chorus. Maybe that's what it's called. And if it is, I say it's really funny! Using the song in the message really helped reinforced the main idea for the year of 2010. Where is the love, people? So much hatred, so little love. And the worst might just be the fact that the proper origin of love, the church, is slowly fading.

Anyway, had quick burger lunch with the youth before meeting up with Annie. We went to Belly burger. Reminded me of Sliders at Westlake.

My time with Annie was spent in Serramonte. The main objective was to purchase a Sarah Brightman CD for her dad after the Susan Boyle gift failed. I was tempted so many times to get something from Gamestop, but so many more voices keep telling me 'no'. Doesn't matter now actually... Man, we need to find cheap Wiimotes...

We went home and played Mario before we left for dinner. Failed countless times, thanks to my gung-ho-charge-through-the-map eagerness. Left Annie behind so many times, or hindered her jumps, or killed myself at the wrong time... Oh, Mario... We switched games to 'Cooking Mama'. I thought it was okay when I first bought it, but now, I realized that the instructions they "gave" us for each cooking step was either vague or non-existent. That was sort of a failure too, but it's okay.

Dinner was at Fung Wong right by the Hickey exit. There was some crazy gathering there, but thankfully, it was coming towards the end of it. Never saw so many people in this restaurant before! The food wasn't like the night before. Maybe it's me slowly getting sick of Chinese... Hope not...

We came home after and discussed wedding stuff. I felt useless in that discussion, but that's probably because I didn't have much to think about...or I don't know what to think...

Day 93 of 365: Wake-up call

Outline:

1) Meeting for Summer missions
2) Meeting for Dating Series
3) Meeting for Retreat

That pretty much sums up my morning. At least it was productive...

I spent the rest of the afternoon at home until Annie came over, which was good timing because just as my parents and I left for Stonestown to take Kristy shopping, Amos came back with Annie. Perfect! So we went to Stonestown for a while. At least for Annie and I, we had some business to take care of. Top secret, but no worries, nothing serious.

After having 2/3 of the day gone, we prepared to head down to Menlo Park to meet up with Bill. Katy met us at my place and we carpooled down to Bill's. Didn't take long for us to arrive and not too long after, Bill drove us to a cool Vietnamese restaurant that serve actual Vietnamese food. Nothing like the ones in SF. Mostly rice paper stuff, but the meat and fish that were served there was good! The dinner was mainly just to catch up with Bill and see how he's doing. Caught up with stories of his trip to Vietnam, Cambodia, Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan, Malaysia and Singapore. Yeah, this guy pretty much toured the whole Southeast Asia! Good times recorded!

We headed back to his apartment where we saw pictures and videos of his adventures. Man, if a picture can spell a thousand words, what would a video do? Lots of good laughs, but also lots of revelation from the mission that he took for Cambodia. Really does show that we have it good in America. Say that you might be struggling with a minimal wage job, but people elsewhere are working at a lower wage... Wake-up call...

[Make-up] Day 92 of 365: Xbox Elite

So now I'm writing my first post of the new year on my iPod. On top of that, it's not even on the first day because I just got back from time spent with Eric. His brother, Kevin, just got himself an Xbox Elite. What's so special about? It's black. Yup, that's pretty much it. Every other function can be bought, but the black casing isn't. Anyway, I pretty much hung out with him for the good part of the evening. God knows I need it...

In the start of the day, I went to Koi Palace to pick up dim sum for brunch. My dad came along to order the food while I either park or wait in the car. I chose the former. Amos and Kristy were still asleep, so just the parents and I had the first dips of the day. It was good to have another meal with my parents. God knows how long I have with them.

The rest of the day was eay-going. I managed to fall asleep myself for some reason, but it was only in short periods of 10 minutes. I don't know why I was tired at that moment... Well, I was about to head out to do some outdoor cleaning and that's when it started to rain. I was disappointed at myself, but I know I have to make it up somehow... After being trapped at home, I just start on
my BSF homework. Very refreshing to get that going again. Still doesn't change the fact that serving in leadership doesn't feel the same. I just feel like I need to lighten my load for now.

Went to dinner at Cafe Bakery with my family. Good HK food.

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