Day 211 of 365: Perfect people

i am more convince that God uses the church to comfort anyone in their lowest. If there's a reason why bad things happen, it has to be the reason of the church answering the call to provide the love and support that people need. Some times, i feel like we, as the church, are too comfort with the good that church meetings are like social meets at the country club. i think it should be more like social meets at the homeless shelter or the Superdome when Katrina happened. The church is not meant for perfect people. It's meant for the broken. God didn't come to comfort the rich and wealth, strong and able. He chose the weak and poorly, according to the world, to comfort those who are much the same (1 Corinthians 1:26-29). We are not called to be superior, though we have faith that conquers death.

Day 210 of 365: Crunchable delights

Food can be such a sin...which is an interesting parallel to the path of righteousness and the path of destruction. Healthy food and junk food. It's so hard to give up junk food and replace it with healthy food, yet you are convince that healthy food is good for your body, much like how meditating on God's word is good for your spirit. And yet there are distractions out there that pleases the sinful nature, also known as junk food, or anything that is against the will of God. In this case, moderation is out of the question. Our God cannot tolerate moderation of sin. In fact, there should be no sin since we live apart from sin, essentially, in the context of food, we have gone from the modern age of cooking to the simple days of unprocessed food. There is a clear division between the two and both lead to their individual paths. Food for the body or for the spirit, God has made it clear for everyone! i can understand this well since i'm trying to eat healthy... That means no more Cheetos, Kettle chips and all those crunchable delights...

Day 209 of 365: Be thankful

Really weird weather system that we have here in SF. Starts the day with light showers, then some good old fashion sunshine, then some showers again, then the sun followed by a sudden downpour! Guess what came after? SUN! After that? Yeah! It's rain again!! At least this is a tad predictable...

Managed to do some things that i had to finish off. i'm really full throttle on my job search even though work is trying to keep me on for another month or so. Either way, perhaps it's a good time to start the path to my Physical Therapy career? It's also a good time to test my faith and watch God provide immensely. i know He will provide what i need. He always does. It's just not always at my timing. It's still encouraging to know that it's a given either way. i just need to do what i can and love Him for giving what i have. Be thankful always.

Day 208 of 365: Never change

Can't really say that you are a veteran in ministry when you judge it by how many years you have under your belt. There are circumstances that change the nature of ministry that should ask the question of whether we are veterans of adapting to changes. Changes that most ministers aren't really used to since it's not their style. i like to say that my years of service has been fruitful, but i'm not a veteran of change. There are preferences that kids have that i don't share, even though i try to. It's just not comfortable. Then again, the real comfort is that we can be novice to worldly influences, but a veteran in knowing the character of God and how He will always see us through the shift of trends. God's word will never change, because He never change. And when God stays the same, we can be confident that we will know His love more than the worldly trends.

Day 207 of 365: Wrong direction

Had a good drive up to Berkeley for an interesting meeting of youth workers. i guess Golden Gate is not the only church that has issues, but it's encouraging to know that we're not alone. If there's a perfect church out there, you have to ask questions. Is there something that that church is doing right, or, in worst case scenario, wrong? Not sure where this thought is going, but could a church flourish because it might be head down the wrong direction that the devil won't interfere, but continue to build it up? It's a scary thought and the idea of how Satan works to take as down when we are on the right path makes you wonder what happens to an organization that is opposite of that. How far will it go before God steps in and draws the clear cut line? i pray that no church will experience too much comfort or else we'll never see what is really needed.

Day 206 of 365: Hot rods

This world is so enticing. So many things that make you want more. Food, cars, houses, entertainment. So accessible and easy to enjoy. And as the world makes advancements in technology, it'll be even more crazy to find things like 3D TVs and interactive computer screens. Next thing you now, they can make a holodeck from Star Trek.

i say all these things because it's harder for Christians to be in this world, among these things, and not be tempted by it. We can enjoy them, but it's easy to feel unsatisfied with just a few items. There'll always be a longing for more. At least, for me there is. Either that or the lack of it that drives the desire to have something that others have. Contentment is key, but it's such a struggle to dwell in. Well, giving myself some encouragement that this computer is still running fine and i'm not in a rush to pick another up. Then again, computers are just machines now. Further back in time, computers were like muscle cars for some Americans. Build-it-yourself, electronic hot rods to power the latest games. Not anymore. Now, i seek even more expensive stuff, but none i can pursue. None that i should. God must always come first. Anything before, it's an idol.

Day 205 of 365: Righteous deeds

Would it be bad to not be sensitive to God when good times pass and only call on Him during the bad? i think it's not bad, but it's definitely not healthy. A Christian's life should be in complete sync with God and His ways. Nothing falters, nothing skews. Focus is dead on the cross. God must be in every aspect of our lives.

Even though there are things that don't seem to fall into place after doing what is right, you have to wonder if anything bad after anything good is just an act of Satan being desperate in trying to tempt you away from God and away from doing His will. If that's the case, each bad thing should be an encouragement because we brought glory to God. Even that right attitude brought glory to God because we didn't let evil stand in our way. Our path of righteous deeds! Continue to do what is pleasing and not let the evil one push you away!

Day 204 of 365: Church body

Why to bad things happen to anyone, not just the good, but the bad and the neutral? That is the question in everyone's mind, especially for the ones that suffer lost. For those that went through hard times, i'm sorry, i don't have a satisfactory answer for you, which is "i don't know". i'm not God, so i can't tell you exactly what the reason is for you to go through all these hard times.

The answer that i have is for the rest of us watching comfortably on our couches and watching CNN. When you ask yourself, "why bad things happen", my answer is: because God placed it there for His people to go out and demonstrate the same love He gave to us. For those that lost a loved one, God sends His church as their family of support. When troubles arise in finances, God sends His church to lift them out of their holes. The church is the opposite of trials and tribulation. It's the answer that God gives to the hurt. What saddens me is that many, not all, churches don't see it that way. They would go out and live individual Christian lives on Sunday. Well, that's not what the purpose is for Christians. Being a Christian is every day and every moment, seeking opportunities to share the love that we don't deserve. If we catch ourselves at home and not doing anything, with the claim of abiding in Christ, then that's not a Christian. Our faith requires action (James 2:14-17,26). i pray that every man, woman and child in the church body will wake up to the reality of their faith in their actions. There is no way you can go out and live each temptation and say that you are convicted as a Christian. We are not perfect, but we are aware of where we stand and we are called as a church body to minister to those in need of love and care. We are the hands and feet of Christ. Time to serve!

Day 203 of 365: Our temptations

It's nice to have a day off, but it's a curse in itself. Especially when laziness kicks in. To fight it, i tried to be active. i pushed myself to start it with devotions. It really is different when you begin with God. Something I need to work on. At times, i wish i could wake up early and alert to study God's word. i bet that will make a difference. It's definitely something i need to train myself to do. Well, this morning, i believe that God is teaching me. Teaching me something about temptation because it came out again when i was studying the BSF notes. And pastor Korch spoke about temptation this past Sunday, so this has to be a topic worth looking out for. What the BSF notes said was that temptation is disobedience towards God's will. God does not tempt us to do anything because that is not of His nature (James 1:13-14). So that leaves Satan being the tempter and if we give in to our temptations, that means sin comes into the picture. And when we sin, we disobey and dishonor God. Who are you living for and how convicted are you at which side you stand for?

Day 202 of 365: Needed areas

i had dinner with my brother and we talked about what he's planning to do and set for his major. Pointing at certain directions for him to consider and career choices that will benefit him in the future. Which brings the thought about money. It's easy to calculate salaries and paychecks, but it's hard to get a job that pays. When starting a family, make sure you know what you want first. How much money you have determines how easy it will be in the beginning. i say the beginning because it'll be less of a struggle to provide for your family and your children, but depending on how to manage your finances and how you teach your children about the responsibilities behind it, you might encounter family conflicts and misdemeanor from your children.

Now thinking that versus learning to build from small to big and learning how to struggle with what you have in your pocket and who you have by your side. Living with less doesn't mean you'll live in poverty, but you are able to manage your finances better by cutting costs and allocating funds in needed areas. Children can be taught to be content with what they have and, hopefully, be able to know the difference between "needs" and "wants".

We can't always get what we want, but we can work our way there. God provides the path to walk, we move in faith along that path. The advantage of knowing that God provides is that He will provide as long as we focus on Him first, not money and material.

[Make-up] Day 201 of 365: Bad assumption

Oops! Got distracted and i forgot to update my blog! Well, we all make mistakes and can't expect perfection out of everything we do. That's one thing that a lot of people assume. That Christians are "perfect". Living perfect, holy lives. If we were living holy lives, why aren't we spearheading relief for third world countries? i know that some Christians out there do that, but what about those that aren't? Christians live to strive for a Christ-like character, not so much of being Jesus. We sought out the attributes that makes up the person of Jesus. It doesn't mean that if we are Christians, we are automatically perfect. Bad assumption. Of course, those accusing Christians, i wonder if they actually study the Bible and its context in detail? Or do they get the general idea and run with it? Before you accused someone, learn about them first and understand it. If you are stubborn and don't want to do so, i wonder if you would be afraid that you will be convinced? Well, if God says that you won't, you won't have to worry. He probably has a great purpose for you.

Day 200 of 365: Same love

Trust is one crucial element of the Christian faith. Our belief in God and the work of Jesus is made through faith and we know that God is there for us. Knowing God's character also helps develop that relationship with Him and we know very well that God always follows through. We trust Him wholeheartedly that He'll help us in every part of our lives. With that, we also need to trust each other in the church body. Practice our faith in ourselves and bringing it out to others. One thing that we shouldn't do is take advantage of that trust. In fact, doing that will be contrary of what we believe in, right? Exploitation in the church is not what each individual should think about, but to love each other with the same love that we receive from Christ. Not from how the world sees love, but from the example set by Jesus. This example is played out through each genuine member of the body of the church. We, and they, will know we belong to Christ by our love for each other.

Day 199 of 365: Fighting temptations

Temptation is quite the test for the Christian. The temptation to snack, sleep or whatever that you fancy, or encounter. Even temptations find you when you have this itch to say something that is classified under gossip. It's everywhere and what Pastor Korch said today is true. We can't escape it, can't live freely from it and it'll always be there to entice you to do something that isn't pleasing to God. It's a test of where our foundation of faith really is because if we treasure our faith and love for God, temptations should be easier to overcome. Now that's easier, not easy. Fighting temptations is never easy, but going through temptations with the focus on pleasing God and hating sin is the way to go. If you allow for temptation to win over you, then where do you stand in your faith? Think about it.

Day 198 of 365: Blue Bottle

Well, tried to get on ziplining today at downtown SF, but the line was so long, there was no way to get on it. Instead, Annie and i browsed around the Farmer's Market at the Ferry Terminal and had a decent lunch there. So many people around, i can honestly say, i felt claustrophobic. i ignored most of it and tried to be more adventurous. Had fun either way. Finally tried Blue Bottle Coffee since Ben raved about it. i like it a lot especially since i could drink it black and not feel like it was too bitter for me. i'm impressed!

After that, it's "shopping" at Westfield and Macy's. i must be getting old because my endurance for shopping has been rather...weak. The guy factor of going in and out to get stuff is kicking in hard. Takes a lot to keep up the pace, but thank God for the Touch! Entertainment on the go!

When all the shopping has been done, it's down to Kukje for some Korean beef for dinner! Made it on our own for a change and it's not that bad. It's like the Korean BBQ beef that you cook on hot plates, but not like the way restaurant make it. Maybe it's because i didn't cook it with onions...

It was a great day with more than 12 hours spent with Annie!

Day 197 of 365: Still human

Man, i think my right fore arm is slightly bigger than my left. The length of the muscle is longer...Probably used it too much on the go-kart. i've been stretching it since Tuesday and it was bugging me all week. Always feels like it's going to cramp up on me. i'll just have to watch it and stretch it some more.

Today was quite an interesting day. Quite a revealing day in some sense that i haven't been doing enough with my walk with God. i do see that the absence of my Xbox helps in managing my time better. It's definitely a distraction...and i don't know if i want to think that i'm a gamer in heart. i ought to be more Christ-like in all aspects. Even though i'm still human, i still strive to be better. Nothing wrong with that. i just know where i stand and where i want to be. God be praised!

Day 196 of 365: Cool day

Am i lazy or is there something else to this lack of motivation? Maybe discouragement? Not seeing fruit? i'm not sure, but i know that it is not right to not do anything. And i'm not talking about what i did and did not do today. This world can't be run by the id. If it was driven by id, we will pretty much live in our own world and other will not invade the space we closed up for ourselves. The church is quite the opposite. We venture out to serve those in need. If someone is not in need, we serve anyway. What is it that we ought to do for each other? Is there a limit to what one can do? i believe there is a cap at how much one can give before they feel completely exhausted. And my motivation should be to recharge in the right plug. i think i've been recharging in the wrong way, even though it might FEEL right. Emotions are tricky. Don't trust them foolishly. Chances are, you will regardless, but that means we are all fools. Fools bound by sin. Thank God we are now not fools, but fools in love with Christ. That's where it all starts and where it will end our foolishness.

Anyway, besides what's in my head...Went to work for half-day, go-kart at Malibu for the rest of the afternoon and watch 'Clash of the Titans' in the evening. Cool day. Not very productive though.

Day 195 of 365: Genuinely seek

i love the ukulele! It's such a happy instrument even when you play a minor chord! In fact, it feels like an emotional type of instrument like the violin, but the violin is simply amazing in that it could invoke a wide range of emotions on it! The ukulele is just...plain old happy! Thank God for the gift of music and the healing it gives! Witty lyrics with an upbeat strum can really bring a smile to your face anytime!

Today, i'm surprised that i did not touch my Xbox at all! Actually, most of the time, it was with Amos, but i spent my time with my ukulele! That and other chores that need to be done. One thing i'm excited for is my wedding band. Might just be finalizing on the inscription Annie and i plan to engrave on the inside. In every aspect of this marriage, Christ must be glorified and in the wedding band, it's my symbol of commitment to Annie through the power of Jesus in my life. i can't let go of that and i have to genuinely seek that out for myself.

Day 194 of 365: Portable stove

Sucks bad when you run out of underwear just before you want to shower. Sucks more that you have to do last minute laundry to get some. Where is Mom when you need her most? Ha! Actually, it's completely my fault for not working on the laundry. Got too lazy perhaps, but it's a mistake that can't be made again. There must be a constant flow of clean clothes! Okay, time to check on the laundry! Have to dry it too!

***5 Minutes later***

Okay, it's drying! Hopefully it'll be dry in no time! Need to shower bad... Well, while i was waiting, Amos and i were building survival kits for earthquake emergencies. So far, we packed 2 bags of essentials and one bag of important family stuff. It's a lot to carry around, but it's what we need. Wait, nevermind... Make that 4 bags... 4th bag is for emergency clothes. And we have water to luge around plus the portable stove. Man, there's got to be an easier way to pack this into one bag! Amos and i did it before in the army, but that's with minimal everything. We are packing at least 5 days worth of supplies. i doubt we'll be out of the house for that long, but who knows... FEMA might not be so efficient again.

Why all this planning? Rumor says the earthquake might strike in the next few days. My opinion, it's hard to predict an earthquake accurately, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Fun as it may be to pack all these, i just wish i don't have to use it.

Day 193 of 365: New friend

It was an eventful, yet restful day. Not too hard, but not too lazy either. Managed to clean up and relax here and there. Then went out for Go-karting with the Mau brothers. It's so much fun, yet so tiring. Mostly from doing all that turning. i admire race drivers for their endurance. i know i don't have as much endurance as they did.

Anyway, here's something to think about. When you are out with friends that you normally don't know very well, do you adjust yourself to be more...tolerable? Or do you be yourself and not be shaken in your beliefs? You can't really impose your beliefs on someone that you don't know, especially when they are not in the same faith. Well, would you change the way you normally behave with your church buddies to make your new friend more comfortable? Food for thought for now.

Day 192 of 365: Different churches

Quite a good day despite the fact that i wanted to wake up early and help set up chairs this morning. It's okay though. i stayed to put them away and then went to chat with the Youth Director candidate for a while. Had a bit to do today, mainly cook for a dinner later in the evening, which turned out to be a great time of fellowship. Annie and i were the youngest couple, but it was great to learn from the others. Their humility, their stories to share and their experience was invaluable to us both. There's something about the genuine love from the older crowd that have the desire to watch the younger ones grow. Surely a gift from God. And the crazy part is: we are all mostly from different churches! There is no awkwardness of differences, just the perspective of us under one God, one church body and family. i love this a lot!

Day 191 of 365: Wrong words

It is so frustrating when you have something to say, but you can't say it without hurting someone. Who benefits from a rebuke? Both? The sender or the receiver? i probably said this before, but we don't experience either enough to know what it feels like and what to do with it. Graceful rebuke is hard when it's heavily weighed in your heart as it builds up. Humble learning is difficult when you feel like someone is attacking you with criticism. One has to fall. Which one will it be? One have to yield to another, but are we ready to practice both in sending and receiving? i fear that if we don't rebuke, we will continue to think that certain inappropriate actions are permissible and we fail to see the consequences of our actions. The one rebuking might also have done an inappropriate action by wrong words or the lack of action on their part. It's not easy, but who said it was? You know what you're living for and it better be for Jesus.

Day 190 of 365: Superficial integration

This world is a mess. Everything in it is a mess. Do whatever you want. Yeah, go ahead and express yourself. Does that mean that if expressing yourself including physical violence? Where is the boundary? Do whatever you want without thinking about consequences. What is the world teaching their kids? As things get more complicated, the society we live in just feels more self-indulged with instant gratification. Take what you want and give nothing back. This world has gone the way of the id.

If you allow for a post to be one that feels upsetting, i would be grateful. Don't have to read it, but it's just one way to vent. i'm just really upset...upset with the things of the world and, at times, upset with the church. It's almost like the church is conforming to the likes of the world. Where is the unity? Are we not one church body and not individual church organizations? Anyone out there do inter-church activities? i feel like churches don't and tend to themselves. i don't feel the unity sometimes and almost feel like it's just me and the world. Especially when there are people out there that "claim" the name of a Christian and yet live in an obnoxious lifestyle that have others questioning their faith. Since when were we like the selfish person that seeks out pleasures whilst stepping into other people's space? Not thinking about others but yourself? It just discourages me and i believe that's how it discourages other believers to fall out of their faith.

Being "left out" influences that too, but sometimes it can't be help because the group dynamics usually works for some and doesn't for others. i definitely feel like that. In fact, i felt that since High School. More like a person that hangs out with the "un-cool" kids rather than the ones that are socially adept. Even in Singapore, i lean towards the kids that are always victim to bullying. Today, i still feel as such... i have found little joy in what i thought was adequately sufficient, but the same thing happens when you're simply a couple notches under. i rather stay since i don't want to work to prove myself better or at the same level. Then what kind of friendship approval am i seeking? Genuine acceptance or superficial integration?

That's why i love my family. i love my parents. i love how God gave me a solid family to confide in, but now, it's my wife-to-be. Sucks more that i feel this way when i know i should be stronger for her. i need to get things straight with God. i need less of all these distractions and really focus. There is no material possession that can fully satisfied a man's desire. Only God that gives a purpose and a reason to live. To love and be loved. i just hope i haven't given more than i have received... Thank you.

Day 189 of 365: All Snoopy

Good to sleep in, bad to waste time. i think the care-free days are slowly coming to an end. The days of rest lies in certain days that are permissible by the authorities that i'm under. i pray that i'll be able to get some job that more permanent and i might be able to get something. Just hoping...

Well, i managed to go to Great America for some cheap thrills. Admission at $25 and i can't argue with the price. Went with Eric and it was a good time hanging out with him again. Talking about more car stuff, things of the past and the things of the present. One thing we were complaining about in the park was how it is not as exciting as before. Only one ride was truly worth it and that's 'Flight Deck', formerly known as 'Top Gun'. And i think Great America is not under Paramount anymore. There are no traces of the Looney Tunes, Spongebob or anything Paramount-related. It's all Snoopy now...

How to live a pure and holy life? Start with God. Focus on God. Meditate on His words and remove anything that hinders... i have a lot to rid off...

Day 188 of 365: Bed angry

i've been thinking about my future marriage while i was walking in the grocery store. The main idea was "what to cook"... i guess i know what Mom or Dad felt like when they think about what to make. Didn't make anything tonight, but thankfully dinner was available from Annie's mom. Anyway, back to marriage life. i really can't think much about it. i can expect certain things, but there will be surprises. Arguments. Happiness. Sorrow. Marriage is a shared experience and the one that you are going to be with for the rest of your life has to be God given. If not, expect more hardships with less resolution. Never go to bed angry. That's biblical.

Day 187 of 365: No motivation

Feel so dehydrated! And the warm weather is not helping! i do wish that i had worked out in this weather, but can't if i don't have enough water in my system. At least i've been drinking a lot of water today to make up for it. Problem now is that i left my bottle in the car... If i'm cycling to work tomorrow, i need to stop by to get it. Hopefully, i can cycle to work...

Anyway, today was pretty productive. i'm glad i found the time to finish stuff and relax at the same time. There'll always be a way to get things done. Now i just need to find the motivation, which is interesting that my BSF teaching leader spoke of that to me in person. He said that when we focus on God, we find the motivation to serve. Without our focus to glorify Him, what is the purpose then? No purpose, no motivation. A nugget of truth...or wake up call.

Day 186 of 365: Resourceful ways

God has given me a few comforts that i find difficult to not love. i'm thankful for music, for family, for my wife-to-be, my car. No matter what brings me down, God picks me up through these gifts. Video games can't satisfy the same anymore. Not as it was before as my world of escape. Maybe this is growth of mature comfort. Something that is more than just superficial.

My most recent comfort came in a small package: the ukulele. Somehow, it's different from the guitar in many ways. Compact, melodiously soothing and very easy to pick up. i'm really enjoying my ukulele a lot and slowly discovering much more in music through it. i feel like there's more to learn from this small instrument and i'm thankful that i've been exposed to a lot of string instruments through the years that God gave me. The guitar, the bass, the viola and that Chinese board of strings, whatever that's called.

God heals and He does it in resourceful ways.

Day 185 of 365: Older folk

Why do i feel like i'm turning into a grumpy old man? Some things just annoy me easily now. Almost like i have little patience. Whatever it may be, it's something i can't live with for the rest of my life. Don't want to be a grumpy old fart...

Service today was cool. The worship set was a good set. Very modern and upbeat, but i hope it wasn't too upbeat for the older folk. Either way, it was a good set. It had me thinking though that the congregation won't have music at this caliber once Amos and Vincent goes off for college. May be good if Chris Wong comes back, but we need more musicians. God will provide...

Watched 'Alice in Wonderland' today with Annie. It was okay. Not impressive to me, but i like the idea of continuing the story of the original. i thought more could have been done.

Day 184 of 365: Hands busy

It sucks to have sensitive teeth... i'm trying this new toothpaste with the hopes of reducing the pain... i have to avoid extreme hot and cold food or else it'll be the nerves... i probably got this from eating too fast and drinking cold beverages straight after.

Long day...but it was a good day. Not bad for staying up for the most part of the day with 5 hours of sleep. Maybe it's the amount of coffee i had. Or i'm getting used to it. Or i had adequate rest through the week? Whatever the case may be, God provided the strength. Now i need rest for tomorrow. It might just be another long day...

At least i got some stuff i wanted! Time to get my hands busy!

Day 183 of 365: Exciting journey

The six month countdown begins! Half a year left before i am officially married! Honestly, it really doesn't matter if i'm no longer a single. i've lived my singlehood in my college days. Long enough for me...but it's scary when i don't know exact what to expect in the future. Possible trials and hardships will come. Crying babies, leaky roofs, worn-out cars... i'm sure there are more than that. What is most important is our commitment to each other and to fight our way to make things work. Hardship will come, but it's there to make us stronger. Relationships will be strengthen especially when we are focused on our faith. If God is for us, who can be against us? It'll be an exciting journey with Annie. Whatever it may be, we'll come out strong!

Day 182 of 365: New hobby

i was a little adventurous today. Cooked something that i heard was difficult. Well, i pulled it off! i made Bak Kut Teh! What is it? It's translated as Pork Rib Tea, but it's not really what it is. It's actually Pork Bone Soup. Boy, did God make a piece of Singaporean heaven or what? Thank God for making this work out! i literally had nostalgic moments eating it and i'm still craving for more! There are improvements that i need to work on. One of which is to use more ribs. It needs the flavor from the bones. Less star anise spice and more crushed black peppers! Oh, and i want to get a cheese cloth. Use it as a spice bag. i think it's part of what they use to make it too. Haha! i actually enjoy cooking! i guess it's a new hobby!