This world is a mess. Everything in it is a mess. Do whatever you want. Yeah, go ahead and express yourself. Does that mean that if expressing yourself including physical violence? Where is the boundary? Do whatever you want without thinking about consequences. What is the world teaching their kids? As things get more complicated, the society we live in just feels more self-indulged with instant gratification. Take what you want and give nothing back. This world has gone the way of the id.
If you allow for a post to be one that feels upsetting, i would be grateful. Don't have to read it, but it's just one way to vent. i'm just really upset...upset with the things of the world and, at times, upset with the church. It's almost like the church is conforming to the likes of the world. Where is the unity? Are we not one church body and not individual church organizations? Anyone out there do inter-church activities? i feel like churches don't and tend to themselves. i don't feel the unity sometimes and almost feel like it's just me and the world. Especially when there are people out there that "claim" the name of a Christian and yet live in an obnoxious lifestyle that have others questioning their faith. Since when were we like the selfish person that seeks out pleasures whilst stepping into other people's space? Not thinking about others but yourself? It just discourages me and i believe that's how it discourages other believers to fall out of their faith.
Being "left out" influences that too, but sometimes it can't be help because the group dynamics usually works for some and doesn't for others. i definitely feel like that. In fact, i felt that since High School. More like a person that hangs out with the "un-cool" kids rather than the ones that are socially adept. Even in Singapore, i lean towards the kids that are always victim to bullying. Today, i still feel as such... i have found little joy in what i thought was adequately sufficient, but the same thing happens when you're simply a couple notches under. i rather stay since i don't want to work to prove myself better or at the same level. Then what kind of friendship approval am i seeking? Genuine acceptance or superficial integration?
That's why i love my family. i love my parents. i love how God gave me a solid family to confide in, but now, it's my wife-to-be. Sucks more that i feel this way when i know i should be stronger for her. i need to get things straight with God. i need less of all these distractions and really focus. There is no material possession that can fully satisfied a man's desire. Only God that gives a purpose and a reason to live. To love and be loved. i just hope i haven't given more than i have received... Thank you.
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