[This is Jeremy speaking his mind]
Am I heartless? Or did I harden my heart just to be strong enough to take on the world? To toughen up so that people won't step on me? What ever happened to the Jeremy that was fun-loving and compassionate, as some would describe me as such, and who is this person staring back at me in front of the mirror? Sometimes I think I'm too easily influenced. Even now, I ask God who I am... Am I Job, who goes through every possible suffering and still kept his faith? Am I Moses, who has to deal with faithless people and bears the burden of many? I know I'm neither one of them, though their lives can be an inspiration to mine.
Today felt like an emotional roller coaster. I don't know where all these emotions came from... Maybe I just need time to purge all my thoughts...
Having been praying much...
Devotions feeling dry, even though BSF is there to guide...
Discouraged by the world's intention for self-gain...
Worry about those around me...
Almost feel like I'm conditioned for self-helplessness...
Emotions are not my masters and they have no rational leader...
God, please take control...
Jesus, thy words comfort me...
It all comes down to this...Jesus is my brother, my Savior, counselor, wonderful, all powerful, all knowing, compassionate, loving, caring, the guide of my life, the light of my world, peace giver, faithful friend, strong tower, reveals my convictions, solid leader, my King, my captain, Shepard of His elected...
That's what I'm called to be. I live to serve Him. I live to be like Him. I do so because He did all the impossible in order for the impossible to be done in me. We all need Jesus to rule our lives. Without a guide, who is able to walk in a world of darkness.
I know lately, I've been cold... I know it because I have been cold to a lot of people. That includes people at work, church, family and yes, even my fiance, whom I love dearly. I am convince that I need to step up and not step aside from what I claim to believe in. That's the worst I could do to myself and to others. I also know that I've become more selfish, but I pray that it is not because I've been selfless for so long and I want to turn the tables so I can be selfish myself. I know I lack much in life and want more, but in this case, the lacking is of spiritual in nature. I know where I must go...into the company of my Lord...
[Thoughts end, prayers begin]
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment